Friday, July 22, 2011


Thug, Thug, Thug, Thug. I can't count how many times when I've met or talk to someone new, who happens to be attracted to black men almost exclusively, are just looking for a Thug. Where is my due rag, my bling around my neck, my pants down to my ankles. Oh yeah, I better not forget I need to be on the down low. Bring my ghettoness on!

Why all of a sudden that every black gay guy needs to reflect a imagine of being a Thug for them to be considered black enough in the gay community? Coming out in downtown Toronto many years ago, I struggle to find imagines of gay men of dark complexion in the mainstream gay publications that reflected them as being hot. Now I find several dark skin men in the mainstream publications. But almost 99% of them reflect that Thug imaginary.

I can definitely understand the bad boy appeal. Regardless of what ethnic background, we all have the fantasy of the guy that comes from the wrong side of the fence. On the same note, we also see that boy next door as a imagine that is also considered hot, but for some reason not for black men.

Gay men love to have their pornographic fantasies become reality by finding that guy the has the body and the attitude that we see on porn. Unfortunately the only imaginary that you really see of black men in porn is that of the ‘Thug’. It doesn’t matter if he is shy, aggressive, top or bottom. He will be that Thug, dress top to bottom.

Don’t get me wrong. I have no issues with anyone who loves their man being the ‘Thug’ or guys that present themselves in that way. It is hot in many ways. But there is a different reality of just being the ‘thug in bed’ versus being the ‘thug in life’. Black men are hot regardless if they’re the bad boy from the other side of the fence. The sweet boy living beside your house. The top or bottom, the preppy dressing conservative liberal type, whatever. Thug isn’t the only beauty or the only thing that reflects being black. Our skin does that on its own.
If you want Thug outside of the bedroom, then go for Thug. But don’t expect or think every black men are truly a Thug inside waiting for you to release.

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